Sex Without Fear
Amber Lynn Reynolds
Only WHAT% of the population is a pedophile?
www.amberadical.com/sexwithoutfear
As a child rape victim herself, now an adult in 2021, lost in a sea of Q-Anon pedophiliac baby eating youtube videos, Me-Too victims being tried in court on live tv, checking every day to see if Gizz-a-lane fuck face has hung herself yet to meet her partner Epstein in Hell, and not to mention every netflix-type of streaming service is mostly filled with documentaries on sex crimes for us to binge and "enjoy" through this never-ending quarantine---*deep breath*--I'm really overwhelmed, honestly.
My life work revolves around trauma-healing for me and my peers. I want to help, but I'm a believer that you can never help any situation you don't understand. I'm not much of a surface thinker, I prefer to go deep, flip it around a few times, really feel it, get tangled for a while, let it consume me, then come out with a final decision that I didn't decide, but rather the truth just revealed and I can't argue it anymore. So while I can bite that there are some rich weirdos who probably suck baby blood in their free time, I'm not going to spend my time watching Justin Beiber videos to see if he flicks his nose to confirm his baby with Selena Gomez was fed to baby eaters. But obviously child sex crimes and trafficking is real, and an issue I want to legitimately solve.
So imagine how I stopped in my tracks during my morning podcast when it decided to touch on pedophiliac topics, and I heard "Well, actually Susan, only 1 to 5 percent of the population is truly a PEDOPHILE"
Hold up. It's hard for me to remember exact percentages off the top of my head all the time, but I'm pretty certain we are resting on at least about 15 to 25 percent of children being molested before they are adults. And I'm not mathematician, but I'm guessing these 1 to 5 percenters are not capable of successfully molesting all these children to get these numbers up this high.
So let me pause there. Before I go any futher, please know I'm not going to regurgitate the science here perfectly, but it's ok, because my point will remain. It's actually our lack of knowledge I want to point out here, anyways. So the British scientist explains that they've conducted some super science-y studies on the brains of pedophiles and what they've found is that the part of your brain that "lights up" when you see a young child is typically the part of the brain that is nurturing. It says "I want to nurture this child". For about 1% of the British population they found that when they see a child, the part of the brain that lights up is the sexual response. It says "I desire to have sex with this child".
Warning, we are about to get heavy into ideas that our brain first says "No, that's wrong, no no no." And I'm asking you to pause and consider that you are right in what side you are on, but that dissecting these words and their meanings is really important if you are like me, and wanting to leave this world safer for our children. Our rejection to wanting to explore this topic, is keeping us behind in solving the problem, and frankly, we are out of time.
Then...the scientist said "Infact, most pedophiles never act on their urges."
Hold up. MOST pedophiles NEVER act on thier urges?" WHO IN THE FUUUUUUUCK IS MOLESTING OUR CHILDREN THEN?
Oh wait...I already knew this. Because I wasn't molested by a pedophile EITHER!
Ok. I know you've seen the shit shared on social media telling you there is a whole community that is trying to normalize pedophillia. That's true. The MAPS thing. {minor attracted person whatever you call it} yeah. That's a thing. They have a flag. Go ahead, fight that shit. BUT, please SEPERATE that issue from the blogs and documentaries and ted talks that are trying to explain to you that "Pedophilia is a sexual orientation". I feel you...that immediately tells our gut that there is a whole ridiculous crew of "psychologists" who are just dangerously normalizing pedophilia and this is going to be the slip that slides us right into everyday child-raping chaos. It's not. This is where I'm pleading for you to understand.
There are pedophiles, and there are child sexual abusers. I know your brain says they are one in the same, but stay with me.
Orientations are what you are born with. Right? whatever is the "natural path" for our brains to develop sexually, that isn't necessarily influenced by society or our choices. Your sexual orientation is not your sexual actions. Plenty of people are gay and never explore it and "act straight" their entire lives. That does not mean they were straight. It means they were gay and pretended to be straight. So yes, you can be attracted to children and never act on it. Just because they never hurt a child, does not mean they aren't a pedophile. They are still a pedophile even if they never admit it, or if no one ever knows, or they are never diagnosed. Gay people and straight people are never "diagnosed" it just is. And we never REALLY know what anyone's orientation is. We know what they tell us or what we see. So yes, you have pedophiles in your life and you don't know, and maybe they don't even REALLY know themselves. How long can it take us to figure out our sexual orientation sometimes? I know my bisexuality is constantly evolving and I'm always figuring out more layers. Maybe my label of bi-sexuality isn't even correct, but I just don't know myself well enough yet?
So, as I was saying, about 1 to 5 percent of people are pedophiles as defined before. So who is raping our children? CHILD SEX ABUSERS. Right...so who are THEY? Aren't child sex abusers always pedophiles even though pedophiles aren't always child sex abusers? Nope. Child sex abusers are actually USUALLY NOT pedophiles. As in, they do the act even though their brain isn't "lighting up" in the same spot as pedophiles making them want to BE sexual with a child. So what part of the brain IS making people molest children? well, the brain light thing I can't explain, but I can tell you there are 6 types of child sex abusers, and the biggest offenders are child sex abuse victims themselves.
The reason this matters? I think right now everyone who is feeling FED UP with our world for our kids right now, is fairly open about wanting to castrate all pedophiles and hang them in the streets. I'm not even here today to argue that. We can talk about humanity and morals later, right now we are defining things. Here's what I see in our future [Loosely, but...]: Science progresses, and we are able to just scan peoples brains, show them a picture of a child, and if their little brain light tells us they find the child attractive, we can just "last meal" them right there. And soon: we are a world free of pedophiles. Great! Now what? Oh wait...children are still being molested at insane rates because there are still 5 types of other child sex abusers.
Get where I'm going with this now? So lets talk about the 6 types of abusers, so we can move on and start figuring out how to RESOLVE the contributing factors that CREATE a child sex abuser [because remember: you are born with the orientation of pedophillia, but you are not born a child sex abuser, child sex abusers are created out of outside contributors besides biologics.]
Abuser number 1: The pedophile. If a pedophile acts on their fantasies and urges then they become a pedophile AND child sex abuser. Actually rare in the grand scheme of things. But Pedophiles who act, are opportunity MAKERS. They create an opportunity to seek the child out because it the child part that they want. There can be long-time grooming, or implusive acts.
Abuser 2: Victims who grew up. One study found 67% of convicted offenders say they were sexually abused as a child themself. Early intervention and true help to heal is the biggest prevention to help people not reciprocate their trauma onto others later. Let's dedicate an entire blog on victim healing and prevention later.
Abusers 3 thru 6 are Situational Abusers. Situational abusers are ones who were not really seeking out an opportunity to hurt a child, but found themselves in a situation that allowed it, so they took the opportunity. Sure if you're a pedophile, you may take opportunities that come to you as well, but situational abusers are not pedophiles. Their reasons for abusing differ (see examples below), but some examples would be an older sibling molesting a younger one, A teacher who seduced a student, a nanny that took photos of a child, or an uncle who abuses a niece even though he didn't abuse his own children.
So, 3: Repressed offenders. Often they are facing life issues that are causing stress or depression. Maybe a job loss, or divorce, or death in the family. The mental illness causes...i don't know? Bad judgement, impulsiveness, whatever...so repressed offenders are a thing. If theres a strong correlation in stress causing people to want to take the opportunity that's presented to them to be able to molest a child, then we can't just ignore this. Maybe your stress never caused you to molest a child...but the difference between you and them was not pedophilia, it's something else.
Abuser 4: The morally indiscriminate. They are the type of person who abuses anyone and anything. Maybe they beat children. Or adults. Maybe they hurt animals, and rape adults too. It's not about children and sex. It's about control. Children make for a great target to this type of toxic person.
Abuser 5: The sexually indiscriminate. These abusers may have an addiction to sex, and be involved in other illegally sexual behaviors: prostitution, beastiality, sex trafficking, raping, etc.,...
And Abuser 6: The inadequate offender. These abusers are ones that find themselves socially awkward or inadequate making it difficult to form intimate relationships with peers their age. Maybe they are not mentally developed to their age, or they suffer from agoraphobia, or they were socially deprived as children. There are a lot of unique things that can fill this category.
Ok, so now that we have defined WHO is abusing our children, I feel like we can start tackling these issues separately and leave the blanket "slaughter the pedophiles" statement at the door when trying to hashtag "save the children"
If you are TRULY on the road to help save children from sex crimes, make sure you are ready to do the work of going deep, or please leave your facebook memes off your page. Attacking these very few acting pedophiles is really deflecting from actually protecting children from CHILD SEX ABUSERS.
In fact, if you're an American and want to help children not be living in rape every day, we could start with the fact that you can still legally marry a child in 46 states. 40,000 minors are married to adults every year in America.
Most children are raped by people they know, love, and trust, who are likely still being invited to family reunions, teaching their teams, or in Sunday's pulpit.. Let's start with reflecting into our own homes, and getting JUDEGMENT-FREE help for, MOST OF ALL: victims themselves. This is not a stranger danger issue, it's a family issue. It's a communication issue. It's an education issue. It's a mental healthcare issue. It's a religious issue. It's a self-reflection issue. It's a really really really sensitive issue.
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